Scissors

I received an invitation on my desk today from a colleague.

His son's face was splattered all over the card like an American milk carton. It was all in Indonesian so he explained it was a party for his son. This Saturday from 11:00-14:00.

Me: "Oh ... is it his birthday?"

Him: "No. It's his - umm - scissors."

Me: "Scissors?"

Him: "You know ... [starts peforming a one-act play]"

I'm not good at charades so it took me a while. An embarrassing while, as it turned out, but I finally got what he was saying.

This Saturday I'm going to a circumcision. A three-hour circumcision.

There are so many concerns I have about this but two in particular are playing on my mind:

1. What do I wear?

2. What do I bring?

3. Would it be impolite to turn up drunk?

I know that's more than 2 ... but who do you think you are? Maria or somethink?

How Do You Solve A Problem

Maria is helping me get a postpaid phone number.

Just like in Vietnam, it requires an enormous amount of paperwork including full copy of passport (all pages), mother's maiden name (slutface), etc.

After a strong nudge, Maria filled out as much as she could and came to my desk to guide me in the remaining areas.

Me: "Religion? What should I put?"

Maria: [laughs] "Something. I don't know. Just put Christian."

Me: "Really? Isn't religion like Catholic or protestant or something?"

Maria: "Christian. It's stupid. No one cares."

I didn't bother clarifying whether Maria considered the question itself to be stupid, or the Christian.

The next section was Marital Status, which I loved because there were only 2 options:

1. "Married"

2. "Not Yet Married"

Finally we got to hobbies.

Me: "Hobbies? They want to know my hobbies?"

Maria: "Yeah. Just write 'hanging around'"

Which I did.

It was only later that I realised she may have been trying to insult me. Other secretaries would suggest that I may like golf. Or swimming. Or reading.

Not mine though. Maria seems to feel that the most her yet-to-be-married christian boss could amount to in his spare time is to hang around.

And she's kinda right. Ok mostly right. OK right.

I like her pluck.