About Responsiveness

This just in.

Subject: About Responsiveness

Dear TEAM,

The reason to have mobile phone is to be responsive and reachable when you move from places to places. You are expected to respond when you are called. For missed called or due to any reason that you are unable to pick up your mobile phone, please notify the caller and advise that you will respond in a appropriate time which should not be longer than 1 business hour. All People Managers are expected to answer their mobile phones 7 days, plus any staff whom believe that you are leading an important task for OUR COMPANY.

Best regards,

Xuan To Long

Human Resources Manager

Long is the most unresponsive person in history. Including God. Including Karen Ann Quinlan. He rarely answers his phone and once took a month to get me the most basic of paperwork signed for my visa. He is often absent from the office and everyone thinks he's knocking off Dinh, from Marketing, at lunch time.

Long must have eaten a bad prawn today because his previous email to the entire company was far more jolly. Equally inappropriate - for other reasons - but jolly:

Team,

I am happy to introduce to you our new leaders of Club Hanoi.

Mr. Vuong Quynh Vu will be crowned as the President. Two beautiful ladies, Ms. Nguyen Thu Phuong Nung and Ms. Bui Mai Anh will be supporting Vu in the role of Vice Presidents.

Vu is an energetic young guy who is very keen on social activities. Outside his working time as a System Service Representative, Vu's favorite pasttimes are sports, yoga and martial arts. He's a great animal lover who likes to eat vegetarian food. (But don't worry, our coming parties will still have meat).

Nhung is an excellent communicator (as a matter of course, since she is our Brand System Lead and Communications Advisor) and a very sweet person who possesses all the skills and knowledge to take care of from very old to very young people, physicaly and mentally.

With more than one year's experience as an Sales Specialist and the team's "eat and play" budget keeper, Anh is a talented organiser who will surely devote her tremendous initiatives and travelling-oriented mind to the club's activities.

I found this information incredibly comforting. It's good we have pretty ladies running the shop. The ugly chicks eventually end up ruining everything. Fact.