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18 July 2010

Falls

Apparently, when we go to Africa in September we are going bungee jumping.

I'm not scared of heights, but don't really like the sensation of falling. I' m more a fan of the roller coaster climb, as it were.

Needless to say when I think about this impending event I've been a bit nervous.

So I logged on for some details of the company that runs it, to put my mind at ease. I expected some safety messages and the like. Maybe thick harnesses and clean, efficient attendants.

I didn't expect to Darren perched up there in his red shorts, ready-setty-going on the edge of a metal grill with a frayed rope tied to his ankles.
Before


Darren looks far too eager, even if there is a camera on him. I wonder if Darren is blind ... new reality tv show where they play practical jokes on disabled people. Perhaps they told him he's at the swimming pool?

Either way, there seems to be something wrong with Darren. He must be sick. Or a Christian.

As if that wasn't enough, they have decided to make it clear that this flimsy rope was not just for show - it's for you. To fall fall with. Here is a "no one could have survived it" shot.

Goodbye, Darren. You were loved.

Then I realised.

This is not a bungee rope and those red shorts are not normal attire even for potatoes on safari and Darren is clearly not well.

This is not bungee jumping. This is euthanasia.

I'm being euthanased ... and without my permission! If this is going to be my Starlight Foundation moment, I at least want a fucking wish.

My wish is that Corey goes first.

And then I'm going to put on some red shorts and jump with my life in the hands of the frayed rope.

My tombstone should imply that I had a reason to jump, like cancer: "We saved him from having to endure a painful death". Otherwise I would seem foolish.

9 comments:

Simone said...

Oh so melodramatic. I survived bunjee jumping in Africa- Bloekrans Bridge, highest in the world at the time, and it was all pretty dodgy.The most terrifying experience of my life, mind you. But I survived, and even got a video keepsake of the experience to remind me of how crazy I was!

La Reina de las Lineas Longas said...

http://www.guzer.com/pictures/bungee_surprise.jpg

'nuff said.

SinBBQ said...

oh la reina - again with the scatalogical. when will it ever stop?

although it kinda reminds me of something i discovered just last week. that diarrhoea and an RPM class are not a good match.

SinBBQ said...

simone you told me you hated that jump and would never do it again.

Simone said...

Yes, that is right, one time risking death in such a way was enough, thanks. They did have a buy-one-jump, get-one-free offer but I declined the freebie (either the rope or my heart were bound to fail me)

nancy1 said...

did you hear about the woman who fell all the way into the river in New Zealand -- the rope came off her foot. make sure it's nice and snug. also, make sure they don't forget to tie the other end onto something.

alexandra s.m. said...

sky diving is so much better. At least there is some "nobility" about jumping off of an airplane.

Lisa said...

I'm thinking Tones - if "anything unforeseen" should happen with your bungee jump ( and let me remind you here that I advocate against you participating) Trish and I can compete for the $300 from That's Life. Just trying to look for the positives.

SinBBQ said...

good golly lisa - if there is that much in it for you and cheesel then i'm prepared to hack into the rope myself.

make lemonade, by all means ...