She'd Outpester Any Pest

Indonesians are very friendly, even in the office. I often have people drop by my desk for a chat - whether I've met them before or not. As the only white person permanently stationed here, everyone knows who I am. Sometimes they sit down and ask me where I'm from, whether I'm married and if I've had lunch yet. In that order.

For those who know me, we talk about various other things. Here is an example today:

Me: "Hi H - how are you?"

H: "Anthony hey! [there is always excited surprise] You know we're not having this meeting any more on Tuesday. [sits down next to me] They've changed management or somethinglikethat and the VP no longer has this project on his KPIs or somethinglikethat so not interested to meet.

Me: "OK. Well let's keep trying though. Just have dinner with him or something."

H: "Sure thing. Hey by the way have you lost weight?"

Me: "I don't think so."

H: "You look like it [looks me up and down] ... in your face maybe?"

Me: "I think it's probably my haircut. Whenever I get my hair cut people think I've lost weight. I drink too much to be skinny."

H: "Yeah maybe. I never drink. Do you drink every weekend? Or every day?"

Me: "More like every weekend. It's too expensive here in Indonesia to drink every day. Why don't you drink? Is it because of religion?

H: "Not really. More cultural I think. None of my friend drinks. [sic] So what about Vietnam? Is it expensive there? [tone of voice is excited surprise again]

Me: "No - it's cheap. About 1/3 of the price of here."

H: "Yeah? Hey Anthony you know Maria?"

Me: "Maria?"

H: "Yeah - Maria W. Maria who used to sit there [points] and then she moved to the 18th floor."

[At that point I realise it's *my* Maria but do not let on.]

Me: "Yes yes I know her."

H: "Well she came up to me the other day and said 'Hey H - I have a friend who sells alcohol cheap - you wanna buy some?' but I said no, because I never drink anything but maybe you could ask her?"

Me: "She asked you what? She has a friend? What do you mean?"

H: "Yeah ... I don't know. Maybe she knows people and they don't pay the tax or something. But you should ask her hey? She says very cheap."

Me: "Thanks for the tip."

So now I know what Maria is doing instead of arranging my phone or managing my expenses. She is bootlegging sly grog to her muslim coworkers. That girl never ceases to impress.