Apartment hunt

I made an offer to rent the apartment with the long balcony, with a request for white goods and some temp furniture to be supplied. They have refused my price (which is exhorbitant) but WILL accept this price for an "identical" apartment three floors lower.

Of course now that they won't give it to me, I consider the higher apartment to be perfect.

Arriving back at the hotel

Being greeted by the uniformed Commissionaire while getting out of the cab with my colleague:

-- "Good evening sir ... Oh ... You two don't look so good."

Questions of the day

"When do you need us to give you a Vietnamese virgin?"

"Can you give us someone else's virgin?"

Dinner Fears

I'm sitting in a very boring workshop presentation, behind a very boring person.

I'm trying to give her other things to do during this presentation. This is because we have a team dinner tonight. And the previous team dinner was contaminated by her going through the day's events again and again: obvious insights, inaccurate retellings, banal pontification, embellished-yet-still-dull anecdotes.

She's currently reformatting an Excel spreadsheet for me. I need to find something more detailed and difficult because it looks like she's nearly finished.

Oh no. Now she's taken off her shoes, hiked up her skirt and is sitting on her feet. She's also interrupting questions to the presenter by providing her own answers in excruciatingly slow English that is more condescending than useful. Like yelling at deaf people.