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29 August 2010

Todo Sobre Mi Concha

Indonesia is known as a conservative country.

For one, it's full of Muslims. And Muslims cover their women in sheets. And all that other stuff. Right?

At my gym, the men change very discretely under towels. It sometimes feels like a girl's boarding school from the 1950's, including the leering from the sluttier ones and occasional covert behaviour in the shower room. (I'm not sure what the latter ritual involves, but it's best described as "peeking through the curtains".)

Bloody men, eh?

Last June a local popstar had his laptop stolen from his home and various (consensual) videos of his sexploits were leaked onto the internet. He is now charged under anti-pornography legislation ... supersized by some adultery charges. This could mean 10 years gaol, also known as a decade of non-consensual sex sans video recorders.

One of women in said videos was his girlfriend, a local soap opera star. She must have used all her acting skills to deny this: she claimed it this was a remarkable likeness and has been left alone.

So it's fair to assume that Indonesians are very coy about all that stuff. Right?

Wrong.

Some time ago I posted an entry about a local beauty parlour, which has some inventive ways of markeing its core values. This is their latest offering, just in time for Ramadhan.



I don't know about you, but this gives me a disturbing (and perplexing) visual.

What could this bowtie be made from? (Pubic hair? Henna? Silk?) Exactly where is it positioned? And why? Is it just for formal occasions? Why does the cat have a mohawk?

Call me a traditionalist, but regardless of its origin I believe the bowtie would go perfectly with a pack of Double Long Shock Sea Horse condoms.

There is obviously a whole stack of cunt references here, but I just don't understand them. Stay tuned. Or help me.