You Tard

Utah executes Man By Firing Squad

Utah has carried out the wishes of convicted murderer Ronnie Lee Gardner and executed him by firing squad. Yesterday the U.S. Supreme Court refused a request to stay the execution.

Gardner, 49, is only the third person in 33 years to die by firing squad in the United States. He was killed at 12:20 a.m. MST (2:20 a.m. ET), a Corrections Department spokesman said. A hood was placed over Gardner's head and a paper target pinned to his chest. He was heavily restrained as a five-person firing squad took aim at the target and shot him, witnesses said. Journalists who witnessed the shooting said it happend quickly. One reporter said she noticed that Gardner moved after he was shot. "It was over pretty quickly," said Cheryl Worsley, a local radio reporter. "It was cleaner than I expected. It was fast. But he moved. He moved a little bit, and to some degree that bothers me." Outside the prison in Draper Utah, there was a candlelight vigil attended by members of Gardner's family.

If I ever get the chance, I'm going to demand a wrecking ball.

Simpsons Non Sequitur Number 1

[The gay pride parade is going past the Simpson house.]

Chanting marchers: "We're here! We're queer! Get used to it!"

Lisa Simpson: "You're here every year. We ARE used to it."

Mel Gibson: Come with me to Hollywood.

Homer: You had me at "hello".

Mel Gibson: I didn't say hello.

Homer: If the Flintstones have taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement.

Marge: A woman doctor? Well, now I've seen everything.

Bart: You could be my father figure.

Homer: No way. I'm not getting my finger prints on that train wreck.

Lisa: Wow, there's a lot about bullying I didn't know.

Nelson: Yes, there's a lot of history there. Did you know it predates agriculture?

Homer: If he's so smart, how come he's dead?

[Homer wearing a beer keg on his head]

Homer: Look at me! I'm the Prime Minister of Ireland.

[everyone in the bar starts laughing]

Marge: How are the kids supposed to get home?

Homer: I dunno. Internet?

Homer: I want to set the record straight: I thought the cop was a prostitute.

Homer: Gee, Mr. Burns, you're the richest guy I know; way richer than Lenny.

Mr. Burns: Yes, but I'd trade it all for a little more.

Marge: Homer, is this how you pictured married life?

Homer: Yeah, pretty much, except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.

Homer: I don't need your pity or your money.

[pockets money]

Ron Howard: Usually when you say that, you give the money back.

Indonesian Non Sequitur Number 5

Took this with my Blackberry (yes, ahem ... Blackberry) while walking to the Batavia cafe, Kota.

They were already posing for someone else's photo.

I think the one in red is going to turn into a slut. I don't know how I know this - it's a gift.

No, not the baby. The red recliner.