Camel Tomes

Most mobile phone companies use a type of technology called "Camel Roaming".

If you are a prepaid customer, Camel Roaming allows you to roam overseas on another network. The overseas carrier has an agreement with your local carrier and they do very clever technology things to allow you to use your prepaid balance whilst abroad.

Last week we were interviewing some technical people for our project. On paper they had very good skills ... engineering degrees, strong telecommunications experience and the like. However, their English is not always up to scratch ... befitting for a developing country.

One of our interviewees was very eager but a little nervous. He wasn't able to answer my questions very well, therein leaving his "on paper" skills on the paper.

My fellow interviewer: "What do you know about Camel?"

Interviewee: "No Camel?

-- "No. What do you know about Camel Roaming?"

Interviewee: [smiling sweetly] "No Camel? Yes. [nods] There are no Camels in Vietnam."

On reflection, I will posit a theory of what was really going on:

Us: "Oh how sweet and naive that our nervous and slightly naive candidate would think we are asking about camels in a job interview."

Him: "Who the fuck are these people? I guess I have to sit here and answer their questions politely, smiling sweetly ... but really ... who the fuck cares if there are camels in Vietnam and why are they asking such stupid questions? They must be fresh off the boat if they are asking such sill questions."

On The Wall

Fucking mirrors reverted to their original opinion this evening and sent me to the gym.

We Care 4 U

And to think  that I felt like I was being treated like a number ... 

Just received this email from HR:

Dear Team

Your project is really great. Your involvement is marvellous to bring about this project. We see your hardship  from day to day.  Let share...and we care..

Awww.  I think I'll try to invent a new emoticon for what I'm feeling now. I think there will be a Q in it. Or I may borrow from the cyrillic alphabet.

The email ended with some new plans for ordering lunch and dinner through someone who will fetch us for it. So we don't have to leave our desk for lunch or dinner. Double awww.

This came from the same HR guy who, out of the blue, called me to see if I was ok since I started and that he was sorry that . I said that not being paid this month because he didn't process my forms, which is a 5-minute task for him, even after being asked by me approximately 14 times in the past 5 weeks,  was probably the only outstanding issue. Oh, and the fact that I didn't get any help from you even after you were allocated to assist me with finding accommodation and I kept asking you for help, and you know I haven't had a day off since starting here. But apart from that I'm fine, thanks. It's all good. Thanks for checking in with me. OK so I may have sugar coated the venom a bit, but all the above content was still covered. His reply?

"You're welcome. Just let me know if you need anything more."

My theory? A certain someone in HR has a performance appraisal coming up. And a certain someone's box which says "Initiatives to Motivate staff" or "Demonstrates soft skills" was looking a bit empty.

Mirror, Mirror

My hotel in Bangkok is in a great spot. It is the best hotel I've stayed in for a while. It has very nice rooms, well appointed and modern. There is also some very good mirror placement in the bathroom and you can check yourself easily, without craning your neck, from all angles, before going out.  So now it's confirmed: I look fat from every angle.

Fortunately, there's lemonade. Said mirrors are teaching me how to use various postures to make myself look thin from every angle. I feel like I'm directing Carnie Wilson in a music video. But I think it's working. For example don't tuck the shirt in too tight ... out from the belt to look thinner ... but not so much that you look sloppy.

Of course, if I don't start exercising this clothing and posture scam will have a short shelf life. And once the damn walls burst, there's no point hunting for a mop.