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10 May 2010

Things That Rhyme With Black

So part of my Indo-ctrinisation is to get a Blackberry, which I achieved last weekend.

Always thought it was "black" as in "berry", which is completely untrue. It's "black" as in the "market" where you buy them. Mine was brand new and in the box. It has a T-Mobile logo on the bottom - an artefact from the life it once led in Canada. It hecho in Mexico, raised in Canada, incarcerated by T-Mobile, smuggled across borders and into Indonesia where it bribed a customs official to look the other way. I was then sent to the Ambasador Mall where it was unlocked from T-Mobile and reboxed for sale.

I bought a Blackberry Onyx from 3 lovely men, each of whom blew cigarette smoke in my face as they smilingly quoted a descendingly good price. I did the rounds of the fine merchants of Ambasador but eventually returned to my smokers. This says 2 things about me - my love of good service and an enduring addiction to cigarettes. Blow smoke in my face and I'll buy anything.

The purchase ended with them frogmarching me to an ATM to get more money. This is not usually a good sign. Also not a good look when I run into one of 2 potatoes I've met here, mid march. "Oh this guy is taking me and my wallet to an atm in this illegal mall - great to see you!"

I've only heard of 2 atm escorts in the last year ... B's $280 cab trip from Hanoi airport and R's tragic strong arm out of an underfunded, under-the-bar-itself blowjob at a patpong bar. 40-love, R to serve.

My experience proved to be pleasant and fair, though.

So I found where to download a dictionary from this horrible toy. I decided to read the user reviews. This one gave it 5 stars:

"Its very helpful!! U cn hve ur dictionary anytime u nid it."

I kid you not. srsly.

I wonder what Berry stands for?