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08 March 2010

Wax On, Wax Off

I walked past a local beauty salon in Jakarta and stopped to read the sign.



I'm not sure who did the translation, but I suspect she had blonde hair with black roots. Here are some of her other highlights (boom-tish).


Fanny? Fur muffs? It's quite a charming opening sentence isn't it?

Next up, a little about the process:


Acrobatics??? Luckily a simple explanation is at hand:


Then a little something about the training:


I'm not sure of the difference between a Stripette and a Striperella, but it seems quite complicated to become one. I would not be surprised if they get about on rollerskates, with those ruffled miniskirts that ice dancers use.

Sophie's [Packin'] Choice [Drugs]

This sign is an accomplishment. It conveys the welcoming exuberance of a Host! ... while also highlighting an important local law ... while also outlining the penalty imposed if you break said law ... while also demonstrating how the penalty will be executed, so to speak.


I walked past this sign today and recalled that I was packing 2 trays of illegal valium and 7 Xanax tablets in my bag. I hesitated for a second, before being engulfed by a wave of determination and courage. And insomnia.

Suddenly I understood how Sophie must have felt. I was not going to let anyone take my babies away from me without a fight! I am their mother goddammit!

So I put my life on the line and smuggled my children across the border and through to a better life. Without so much as a nun or a guitar.

Unfortunately some of the kids have since perished ... but theirs was a tranquil passing.