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20 January 2010

The Australian Open seems to be more exciting for some ...

This from the SMH today, reporting on events in the Australian Open.

In other offbeat news from the Open, the match between Belgian Christophe Rochus and American Donald Young was stopped for 40 minutes after a ball boy wet his pants on court 10.

"The ball kid peed on himself. It was unfortunate," Young said.

"It took a while to replace him. Then they had to put the sawdust down, or whatever you put down when somebody throws up.

"Then they had to use the blower (to dry the court) but the blower had no gas in it, so that took even more time."

It's schadenfreude, sure. But this is good schadenfreude, right?

Ball boys for these events are nearly always aspiring tennis champions. They are recruited from tennis camps or expensive coaches and are typically stalked at all times by at least one parent. Go to any high level junior tennis match and you can spot the stalkers - they sitting in the stands close to the net, squinting and whispering to themselves.

Actually I feel a bit bad for the boy; but worse for the parents. I imagine them briefing him before the match: "Now make sure you drink lots of water before going out there. It's very hot and you will need to keep up your fluids in case the match goes for a long time and you get thirsty."

Perhaps a rival ball boy even slipped him a Diet Coke - a beverage which is often found lurking in the background of such accidents. Not mentioning any names. (Cheesel.)

Either way, the parents would have been sitting there in the stands enjoying the match but keeping a proud eye on their boy. Look how he runs. Look how he fetches. Look how he obeys commands. Look how he marks his territory.

Still, it takes a lot of piss to make a puddle. I can only imagine how long the parents had to sit there, mouths agape as the endured their boy slowly but surely "give it up to God".

I hope this kid becomes a highly successful tennis player, if for the wrong reasons. Imagine seeing this grainy footage replayed alongside a Wimbledon victory speech.