How "Moving"

looks like i'm off.

to jakarta.

to live.

officially from 1 april.

(april fool me once.)

Go With Grace

I’m currently on a flight from Singapore to Hong Kong. Heading to China tomorrow morning.

I've never been to China for work ... only for tourism ... of which I recall very little, beyond clay soldiers and vomit. For the record - there was more vomit than soldiers.

I am about to spend 2 days working feverishly in Shenzhen before returning for 3 nights in Hong Kong. This means that I'll be here for CNY. This is short for Chinese New Year. Also short Chinese Yuan. Odd that CNY is supposed to bring lots of CNY this Y. And a tiger.

Today as I boarded the flight I asked what the English newspaper was. The flight attendant said "Oh take one. It's going to be full of good news because of the New Year". Nice. I did, and it didn't. Unless you call child kidnapping rings good news. I guessed that my flight attendant did and eyed her cheeriness suspiciously.

The good things about this trip:

• My colleagues have names like Yongying, Congling, Luoxiao, Winggong and Yunghung.
• My colleagues' English names are Royce, Benny, Walter and Taylor respectively.
• Yunghung doesn’t seem to have an English name. I suspect it’s because he could always fall back on a career in gay porn so is keeping his options open.
• “Grace Ho” does our pricing. I'm seeing bribes, discounts and extra service.
• If my last bout of food poisoning is any indication, I’m looking forward to the weight loss I will achieve in China.
• I can’t get a flight back to Vietnam, as they are full with people returning for lunar New Year (they share the same moon with the Chinese). So I get to spend CNY in Hong Kong ... what's to complain about?
• I'll find something to complain about. Probably several things.
• There are lots of rabbits. In China.

The bad things:

• I don’t know how to give out my business cards. I need to practice the double thumb thing with the business card handing over ritual. I'm OK in Singapore and Malaysia but hear it's quite strict here. For example, it needs to happen simultaneously but I’m not sure who should be on top or on bottom. Perhaps I should ask Yunghung.
• I can imagine our cards entering an awkward jostle for position
• My thumbs are not in good shape either. I've been picking at them while nervously trying to work out the business card thing. Which means however I manage it, the jesture will be facilitated by two bitten, bloody stumps.
• I'll find something to complain about. Probably several things.

The ugly things:

• Me as a tourist.
  
• I’m going to ask Yunghung whether he has an English name. And I will keep a straight face as I do it. Just for my childish amusement.
• I'm going to say "G'day China" to someone when I arrive. And I will keep a straight face as I do it. Just for my childish amusement.
• I’m going to say “pulled the wrong tit” to the customs guy. And I will keep a straight face as I do it. Just for my childish amusement.
• I’m going to eat whatever I’m served. And gurn furiously as I do it. Just for their childish amusement.
• I'll find something to complain about. Probably several things.

So far I have not identified any Fanny Pongs, but will keep my eyes, and ears (and noes) to the ground.

Tuesday, 09 February 2010.

19:00.

Singapore airlines, flight 870 from Singapore to Hong Kong

Announcement:

• "Please turn off any electrical equipment, as it may interfere with the aircraft's navigation system. I’d also like to remind you that smoking will not be permitted at all times.”