Word Association Anecdote Disorder

That's the name of the disease my colleague has. Yesterday, as I was leaving the office: 

Me: "I'm off now. I'm not going straight to the hotel, though. So no point sharing a cab."

Her: "Where are you going?"

"Chemist"

-- "What are you getting?"

"Toothpaste"

-- "Oh. I got toothpaste just before I left Australia to come away here. It was on my shopping list for Coles. Toothpaste and shampoo. I always go to Coles just before I leave and toothpaste is always on the top of my list."

[So I try to pretend I didn't really hear the full story.]

"I went to Coles for Vegemite and Tim Tams and I forgot the Tim Tams."

-- "I got all my things just before I left. From Coles. I took a long list with me the night before."

[So I try to change the story.]

"Didn't you get a night flight?"

-- "Yes you're right. So I guess technically it was the day before I left. Not the night. Althought it was Thursday so everything is open late anyway, even in Lane Cove."

"So do you want me to get you anything at the chemist? Toothpaste?

-- "No thanks. Already got it. Not from the chemist, though. I got everything from Coles."

"Oh. OK. Bye then."

Toothpaste at Coles! That's not a fucking story. Maybe if she stole it. But she bought it ... from Coles ... I mean ... Coles ...

The toothpaste I eventually bought is called Germicheck. Which is why I bought it.

"How do you make a hormone?"

-- "Kick her in the cunt."

That joke will always be funny.

bait and switch

In consulting there is a phrase called "Bait and Switch", where the A Team (the "bait") is heavily involved in the sales and solution process and very impressive to the client. Once the contract is signed, the A Team go onto other sales opportunities and are "switched" with the B Team. The B Team is typically a group of lesser workers; often distinguished by worse clothes, worse hair, worse work ethic and a happier home life.

I think I'm being baited and switched with these apartments.

Truc Bach Lake. The first time I am shown an apartment I love. The next day I ask for it, only to find that it's priced 50% above the maximum price I gave to the agent. By way of coincidence, though, there happens to be one in the same building which is within my range. I  go and see it but it is much lower quality. 

Tong Duy Tan. The second time I am shown an apartment which I love. Within hours I start asking to negotiate price and rent conditions and am told it may be now given to someone else who saw it earlier. By way of coincidence, my agent happens to another one in the same building. I go and see it but it is much lower quality. 

Perhaps I should just take the one which was the river (with a gym downstairs) and hire a motorbike to ride the 10-15 min get into town? Or hold out for something else closer to the city ... 

Fuck fuck fuck.

the only apartment i've liked

Looks like I'm not going to get it. 

Apparently someone else saw it first and is considering it.

If he's trying to drive up my price, it's working.

Soooooo disappointing ...

... but i won't shine

[Ring Ring]

"Hello?"

"Yes-good-morning-sir-this-is-your-wake-up-call-you-have-a-good-day-OK-bye-bye." [Click]