I'm not scared of heights, but don't really like the sensation of falling. I' m more a fan of the roller coaster climb, as it were.
Needless to say when I think about this impending event I've been a bit nervous.
So I logged on for some details of the company that runs it, to put my mind at ease. I expected some safety messages and the like. Maybe thick harnesses and clean, efficient attendants.
I didn't expect to Darren perched up there in his red shorts, ready-setty-going on the edge of a metal grill with a frayed rope tied to his ankles.
Before
Darren looks far too eager, even if there is a camera on him. I wonder if Darren is blind ... new reality tv show where they play practical jokes on disabled people. Perhaps they told him he's at the swimming pool?
Either way, there seems to be something wrong with Darren. He must be sick. Or a Christian.
As if that wasn't enough, they have decided to make it clear that this flimsy rope was not just for show - it's for you. To fall fall with. Here is a "no one could have survived it" shot.
Goodbye, Darren. You were loved.
Then I realised.
This is not a bungee rope and those red shorts are not normal attire even for potatoes on safari and Darren is clearly not well.
This is not bungee jumping. This is euthanasia.
I'm being euthanased ... and without my permission! If this is going to be my Starlight Foundation moment, I at least want a fucking wish.
My wish is that Corey goes first.
And then I'm going to put on some red shorts and jump with my life in the hands of the frayed rope.
My tombstone should imply that I had a reason to jump, like cancer: "We saved him from having to endure a painful death". Otherwise I would seem foolish.
