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25 June 2010

Singaporean Non Sequitur Number 3

This evening, ordering my room service. Imagine a strong Singaporean Chinese accent on the other end of the phone:

"And what would you like with your omelette sir? You can have 3 items."

-- "Ham, onion and green chilli please"

"That's a ham, onion and green chilli?"

-- "Yes please."

"OK. Oh. And the green chilli. You know it soaked with a nigger?"

I have a very bad habit of repeating whatever I hear. This was no exception.

-- "Umm ... [bold gulp] ... soaked with a nigger?

"Yes. With a nigger. Is that OK yeah?"

-- "Nigger? ... Oh! You mean soaked with vinegar?"

"Yeah yeah sir; with a nigger. "

-- "With a nigger is no problem. Thanks"

"Welcome. Good night sir."

Propheteering

Raj is not used to writing salesy proposals, but seemed keen to try so I thought I'd give him a go.

This evening I opened up his latest draft, to review it before being sent to the client. On the first page, Raj had written an Executive Summary which began with:

As rightly told by prophet Kahlil Gibran “A little knowledge that acts is worth infinitely more than much knowledge that is idle” .

Goodness.

I love the deliberate inclusion of "rightly".