Simpsons Non Sequitur Number 1

[The gay pride parade is going past the Simpson house.]

Chanting marchers: "We're here! We're queer! Get used to it!"

Lisa Simpson: "You're here every year. We ARE used to it."

Mel Gibson: Come with me to Hollywood.

Homer: You had me at "hello".

Mel Gibson: I didn't say hello.

Homer: If the Flintstones have taught us anything, it's that pelicans can be used to mix cement.

Marge: A woman doctor? Well, now I've seen everything.

Bart: You could be my father figure.

Homer: No way. I'm not getting my finger prints on that train wreck.

Lisa: Wow, there's a lot about bullying I didn't know.

Nelson: Yes, there's a lot of history there. Did you know it predates agriculture?

Homer: If he's so smart, how come he's dead?

[Homer wearing a beer keg on his head]

Homer: Look at me! I'm the Prime Minister of Ireland.

[everyone in the bar starts laughing]

Marge: How are the kids supposed to get home?

Homer: I dunno. Internet?

Homer: I want to set the record straight: I thought the cop was a prostitute.

Homer: Gee, Mr. Burns, you're the richest guy I know; way richer than Lenny.

Mr. Burns: Yes, but I'd trade it all for a little more.

Marge: Homer, is this how you pictured married life?

Homer: Yeah, pretty much, except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.

Homer: I don't need your pity or your money.

[pockets money]

Ron Howard: Usually when you say that, you give the money back.