When I was travelling in Vietnam last year with Scott*, we made up a nickname for all westerners: they are potatoes. While the original usage of potato in slang was quite specific**, we rebadged it to refer to all foreign whiteys.
Here's why. Compared with the locals, we are bigger and fatter and whiter and often a bit of a sweaty mess. Combining these attributes with poor language skills and a low tolerance for heat, we must look like potatoes. Common variants are "fat potato", "stupid potato", "dirty potato" and so on.
Once you understand this, you must realise that most daily events are designed to reinforce your current potato status. Likewise, I now use this term to explain all situations where I don't get my own way, am not understood, or am generally potatoesque. I know my place.
For example, yesterday I went to buy a bottle of water and I tried to say "How much?" in Vietnamese. She didn't understand. So I said it again. She still didn't understand. So I said it again. She shook her head. So then I tried English. No result. So then I pointed to the water and pointed to my money and said "Dong". She held up 6 fingers and I paid.
As I paid, I mumbled audibly to myself: "Fuck off and stop wasting my time you Dirty Stupid Fat Potato".
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* Not his real name. His real name is Ben.
** Etymology note. Westerners who primariliy chase Asian men are called "Rice Queens". Asian men who primarily chase westerners are called "Potato Queens".
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