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21 May 2009

"How much?"

Potato Peeler

A Potato Peeler is any street vendor, taxi driver, store owner or other service provider who charges a higher price to potatoes. As in: "I think I might just peel a bit more off this potato."

On average, an additional 10% to 25% is usually peeled out of the unsuspecting potato, although figures as high as 300% have been recorded.

Strictly speaking, the "peeling" refers to that moment when the potato hands over his money.

Products which commonly involve peeling include t-shirts, baseball caps, souvenirs, taxi fares, mangoes and shoeshines; however, prescription drugs and grocery items are becoming increasingly prevalent.

Calculating the peel amount is very complicated and takes years of training. It requires the PP to quickly evaluate many aspects of the potato including mood, language skills, facial expressions, posture, clothing and wallet (if visible). The highest amounts are usually linked to situations where the potato has been overly friendly, bewildered or nervous. (The fresher the potato, the bigger the peel.)

PP must be very careful during the assessment because once a potato has been peeled several times he can become increasingly hostile. 

The range of items which can be used by a PP can be enormous. Even where prices are clearly marked on an item ... a highly skilled Potato Peelers do not view this as a barrier.

Examples:

 “You paid what for your noodles? I only pay 15,000. It must be the potato price”
-- “Hmm. I guess I got peeled.”

“Excuse me driver! What just happened to the meter when you touched it? Why is it moving so quickly?”
-- “Umm. I think we’re getting peeled.”

As with any other vegetable, the peeled potato is left feeling a little raw and exposed.

The alternative use of “peeling” as a verb is often mistakenly associated to the above definition due to its relationship with payment and potatoes, but is not related. For example:

“After the potato spent ahot day baking in the sun, he peeled himself off the banana chair and joined his friends at the bar."

“The potato looked a little shocked and ashamed as he slowly peeled notes out of his wallet.

1 comment:

alexandra s.m. said...

Thanks for the laugh and the clever insight.

xox