GTFO

I admit it. I'm kind of addicted to the lol cat. It is the result of a cunning linguist who coined "lolspeak" then built a website in honour of it. Much like the Taj Mahal, but cheaper and no one had to die.

Ok so it's basically a bunch of cats who are speaking to each other sms.

Eating cheezburgers is considered the ultimate in fun. Vomiting up cheezburgers is the opposite.

I heard about this while listening to a linguistics podcast - it is even being debated and studied by contemporary linguists.

Linguistic podcasts ... cats ... sms speak ... what a proud breakthrough for me to admit all this in public. It's such a weight off my shoulders.

One of the first books to be translated into lolcatspeak is the bible.

God is called "Ceiling Cat" and Satan is "Basement Cat".

Here's how Ceiling Cat invented everything. It started with "Boreded Ceiling Cat makinkgz Urf n stuffs" and finished with "An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, teh good enouf for releaze as version 0.8a. kthxbai."

"An on Caturday, Ceiling Cat was dun makin al dat stuf; an he restd, thinkn uv how awsum it wuz."

Here's how Original Sin is handled:

"Teh snaik sed, 'U wont die frum froot, srsly. Ceiling Cat just sed dat cuz teh froot will maek u guyz smart. U guyz wud be ceiling catz!!!'"

Sensitive stuff.

As with the real bible, Ceiling Cat can be a bit moody. When the snake becomes implicated in the apple fiasco he is eventually punished by Ceiling Cat:

"Ceiling Cat sed to teh snaik, 'Cuz u did dis, ur cursd aboov all teh moocows an farm animulz!!! Ur gonna moov on yur belly forevah, cuz ai gonna taek ur legs an giv dem to teh Chinese to eat!!!! Ur gonna eat durt forevah!!!!!'"

Ceiling Cat then evicts Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden:

This is my favourite.

Jesus, who goes by his original name, gets crucified here and I quite like this bit:

"Den dey spitz hairbalz at himz and giv him beetdownz wif teh big stik. wen dey finish wif teh beetdownz dey taek teh lime helmetz off and taek himz to teh krucify place. Srsly."

OK so it's stupid.

But it's also funny.

It's stupid and funny. Stupid and funny. Like Cheesel but better dressed. srsly.

Rosary Cat

They've done a great job on the lolcatbible. So much so that I find it more believable than the original.