Superboob

This today, from a walk on the Skype side.

A: i need to tell you about something quite disgusting.

R: what?

A: when i left the meeting just now i went back to the fifth floor to my desk and realised i'd forgotten my badge.

A: so i waited for someone to let me in. so guess who came out?

R: michael?

A: edwina.

A: firstly she asked me where i had been the last couple of weeks ... then chuckled as she asked whether i was hiding from her ... hahaha ... where had i been “hiding out” etc. she made the inverted commas, not me. anyway so i just made a joke about being busy and working for competitors.

R: and?

A: then i said to her "could you please let me in? i've forgotten my badge."

A: ... and she replied "alright".

A: ... and then ...

R: yes?

A: ... and then ...

R: what? what?

A: ... drum roll ...

R: oh come on.

A: then she leant over to the door, pressed her right breast against the touch pad, then i heard a click as she reached over and opened the door with her left hand.

A: she keeps her building access card pass in her bra ...

A: ... and uses her breast to open the door.

R: eeewwwwww

A: i gets worse.

R: it couldn’t.

A: it did.

R: go on.

A: as she opened the door, she licked her lips and said "super boob" as i walked past her. 

R: you're not serious?

R: she didn't!!

A: did.

A: i didn’t know what to say. so i told her (with eyes downcast) that the word for "tits" in vietnamese is “vu” and ... that it’s the surname of a colleague and ... scampered away bookishly.