Sometimes I get something so bizarre that it makes my day. This email was sent to our entire Vietnamese organisation this morning ... all 500 or so peeps.
Subject: San Francisco China Town versus Vietnam
Dear all,
Have you ever been in San Francisco, the beautiful city by the bay?
How about China Town in San Francisco? Exciting and Fun, is it?
You may ask the police and people there and they will not admit it; but the district of China Town has been skillfully, stealthily infiltrated by the underworld crime lords, their secret societies, and notorious street gangs.
Long ago... due to my line of work, I often mixed in with them, understood them, and realized how fascinating, disciplined, and organized their world could be. There were unwritten laws and rules to be followed, and access control codes to be obeyed by all members of a particular gang, which have absolutely no tolerance, but only brutal punishment to its violators.
Fortunately, our own access rules and procedures are much more respectful, gentler, and easier to follow.
I am sure you agree with me, by reading the attached document, that delicate, law-abiding, and well mannered people like us can outperform those wise guys from the mean streets of San Francisco.
This email was sent by Giang, our National Security Manager. I thank her for sharing these details of her former life ... learning, living and lurking in the darkest corners of San Francisco ... wilfully lowering herself into the dirtiest abyss of humankind. I also feel secure in the knowledge that Giang is racist against Chinese people and was prepared to look as far as San Francisco to find an example of their nastiness.
Like many such emails, the wording is intended to introduce the attached document and give ALL employees a reason to open it. Worked for me. The document itself is a 6-page procedure on how to gain access to a company building:
Part 1 shows how to enter the building. It tells you how the swipe cards have inbuilt chips. They must be held up against rectangular panels in order to open automated sliding glass doors. The image shows a woman's hand (French Finish) inserting an ancient metal key into an old wooden door.
Part 2 shows what your employee or visitor card could look like (6 different types, 3 different colours). Lots of images across 4 pages.
Part 3 outlines the procedure for signing in visitors. This must be the part where we stop Chinese people from entering.
3 comments:
WTF-WTF-WTF. Who are these people? How can they be racist against people who look the same as them. Look in the mirror people. At least the Chinese don't eat dogs. Woof woof.
i think you'll fit in very well here
ben You Are Not My Son.
Post a Comment