01 June 2011

Sinking Ships

Here are some ads which are running on Indonesian television.

The first one shows a woman sitting in her comfortable, happy home talking about her comfortable, happy marriage. Call her Sharon.

Watch it first ...

iklan resik-v manjakani - take 1:


Apparently the translation goes something like this: after a couple of kids, the "lady muscles" aren't as elastic as they once were.

That's where vaginal tightening ointment comes in. 

The formula is simple. She knows that this impending marital friction will be her fault; or more accurately, her cunt's fault. Loose lips sink good marriages.

Queue ointment with acorn/hazelnut/Ferrero Roche hybrid as key ingredient.

As the animation shows - nay, proves - that her cervix has contracted back to a tidy V. The rubber proves that so has her vagina.

"Spoil yourself, spoil your husband" and the marriage is saved.

The product name translates to "treating rehearsal vagina", although I imagine "rehearsal" is slang for "lazy".

This next one shows Sharon boasting to her friends. I could spend hours watching the one who applaudes vigorously ...

iklan resik-v manjakani - take 2:

This next ad is more of a farmyard version. Gloria (a decidedly rougher version of Sharon) is ignored by her strapping, body-building husband. No doubt as to why.

He tries to chase tighter tail until she rubs in a bit of Treating Rehearsal Vagina and VoilĂ ! Her cervix contracts while her hair and clothes are transformed as well. The hubby runs back to her arms, only to find that she's flirting with a 12 year old Hell's Angel. I image her womb is looking tidier as well but they didn't animating that, so no proof.

iklan resik-v manjakani - take 3:

This whole thing - the ointment, the adverts, the story - could only have been created by men. Then again, they say the only people who hate women more than men do, are other women.


JusTomat said...

I gotta try this miraculous invention and ditch my daily use of Jus Tomat!!! i hope it's not sold out in the supermarkets!

Simone said...

This is my favourite blog entry in a while- laughed out loud!